Finally Writing!

So, I’ve arrived at a new chapter in my so-far nonexistent writing career. I realized I don’t do the one thing I should above all else—write. Funny, isn’t it? After reading Michaelbrent Collings’s article on writer’s block, it was so obvious. I talk about writing, think about it, listen to podcasts, go to symposiums and conferences, but I don’t actually write. At least, not consistently. I write once in a while, and then moan the rest of the time about how I’m supposed to be writing.
So here’s my new writing schedule: wake up at 5 a.m. Write for 40 minutes. 5:45 a.m.—get ready for school. Voila! My writing is done for the day first thing in the morning before I could get distracted in any way by TV, phone calls, or other people in the house (no one else is awake at 5 a.m.). I tried it out last week and it was extremely effective. Of course, it was also Spring Break and I was able to write longer than 40 minutes. We’ll see how it goes this week with school back on.
It’s just…I got so sick of missing the ONE short window of time in the evenings that I could have used to write in the middle of recovering from a long day of school, talking to people, catching snatches of what they were watching on TV, surfing the net, going to institutue, going to karate practice, Relief Society meetings…etc. I thought to myself, “FINE! That’s it! It’s Spring Break and I STILL can’t write. Fine. I’ll get up at 5 a.m. and do it first thing in the morning before anything else can interrupt me.” So I did. And it worked. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Of course it’d be better to do it in the morning. My evenings are so crazy and I get distracted so easily, why not avoid the issue altogether and just do it in the morning?
But that means I have to go to bed at 10 p.m. every night—difficult task.
It was great, though, writing every morning and finally feeling like a real writer. I loved it.

Quote from Michaelbrent’s article:

“Writing is NOT brain surgery. It is NOT nuclear weapons testing. It is WRITING. It is something that anyone and everyone can do. And along with that fact, it is also something that anyone and everyone WILL get good at. If they practice. If they recognize “writer’s block” for what it really is: their own insecurity getting in the way of a good first draft.”

Looking forward to:

Season 6 of Doctor Who (premiered last week)
Season 4 of Merlin (premieres this fall)
Next Percy Jackson book (released this fall)
Avatar: The Legend of Korra (premieres this fall)

How to be Happy Part I

“In contrast to sin, which is ugly and costly, obedience is brilliant and it’s fruit endless. One of those fruits is happiness—the only way to be happy is to live the gospel.
It is not possible to sin enough to be happy. It isn’t possible to buy enough to be happy, or to entertain or indulge or pamper ourselves enough to be happy. It is not possible to hide enough or run far enough away from trials and toubles to be happy. Happiness and joy come only when we are living up to who we are [--children of God].
…I have never met anyone who was happier because he was immoral, or because he was addicted to something, or because he was dishonest and compromised his integrity.
This “less traveled road” is actually the easier road. It is so much easier to be righteous than to sin, so much easier to deal with a clean conscience than one ravaged by guilt so much easier to feel peace of mind and heart when we are living up to who we are rather than coping with the emotional and spiritual ravages of regret, knowing we have lived beneath our divine nature.”

–Sheri Dew, God Wants a Powerful People pg 53-54

Can't Stand Still

It is my firm belief that as soon as you feel like your life is getting comfortable, or that you’re finally getting used to the hundreds of responsibilities that you have, God will shake it up every time. If we are truly following his commandments, he will not leave us in our comfort zones like stagnant water to be scummed over with slime. Nope. As soon as you think your life might be okay for a little while, God slaps you with something else to keep you on your toes. Or maybe it’s because after you’ve proved you can handle what you’ve been given, God decides that you are ready for more. So, cool that God trusts you so much, but annoying that your life gets even more crazy. I love that quote from Mother Theresa: “I know that God will never give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”
Case in point—The past two weeks have been me worrying to death about finishing my Shakespeare paper (which I get to present at BYU in three weeks—YAHOO!), searching and applying for scholarships while getting ready to receive my endowments in the temple. I had to go back to the distribution center TWICE for the right sizes.
I finally finished the major revisions of my Shakespeare paper and hoped that I could breathe easy for a week. But no. I’m teaching a lesson in Relief Society the day after leading the music for my cousin’s baptism. Then Brother Jackson pulls me aside and says I should give a sacrament meeting talk because I’ve just been to the temple. So. This week—baptism and relief society lesson. Next week—sacrament meeting talk. The week after that—present my Shakespeare paper at BYU and attend the three day symposium (so excited!).
Sheesh. God will NOT let me sit still. But, having a busy life is a blessing. No chances to be bored, and all the things I’m doing are shaping my life into what I want it to be. It’s all for my own good. Who wouldn’t want more goodness in their lives? I’m so excited for my presentation. I feel more and more like a real writer these days. My dreams are coming true!

Day by Day--Handling Stress

The BEST part of the past two weeks was me figuring out that I can’t stay at school til 5:00 anymore. My neighbor is always concerned about my stress levels (I cried on Christmas Day—how lame is that?) and told me to look up Dr. Lam’s article on Adrenal Fatigue. I’m not going to follow Dr. Lam’s strict program for Adrenal Recovery, but reading his article made me realize that I wasn’t giving myself enough time to rejuvenate each day. By going to bed late, I robbed my body of the time usually spent rejuvenating the adrenal glands. The adrenal glands are what the body uses to handle stress. I knew I couldn’t just eliminate all the activities in my life. Instead, I had to ensure that my body was able to handle the stress of teaching school from day to day. By going to bed at eleven, my body didn’t have enough rest to recover and be replenished for the next day. So the next morning, I’d already be running on borrowed energy. That night, I’d go to bed late again, trying to keep up with writing, recreation, and family duties, thus depleting my energy reserves even further, day after day, until my body literally couldn’t handle the stress any more.
This week, I’ve committed to go to bed by 10:30 every night so that my body gets enough sleep to replenish the energy I need for the next day. In addition, I’ve committed to leave school by 4:00 every afternoon to make sure that my brain has enough time to recover from school, emails, and angry parents before I have to attend institute, FHE, or karate practice. School is great, but I need time to unwind and regroup before I’m ready to socialize at institute.
Basically, I’ve committed to give my body the sleep and time it needs to replenish itself every day instead of waiting for Summer vacation to feel happy again. If I don’t clean off my desk, I can do it the next morning when I’m feeling refreshed and energetic. I’ll have more energy and thus, I’ll be more efficient and get more done. It’s worked! I’m loving it so far. It’s okay for me to have a terrible, stressful day at school. I just need to have time to rest and recover. Leaving school at 4:00 is now a NECESSITY, not a luxury.
I never knew that bedtime, day after day, was so important! My neighbor was very concerned, knowing that I needed to figure out how to handle all the stress in my life before diving into an accelerated, one year film school program. How would I survive? The Advanced Immersion program goes for 11 months straight. NO summer vacation. I can’t wait for the weekend anymore to feel “okay” again. I don’t want to wait for summer vacation or Christmas break or the next term to feel happy. I want to be happy every day, every hour. I have a RIGHT to be happy every day and wake up in the morning with a cheerful heart. Although I can’t escape the stress of everyday life, if I give myself time to rest every day, than it won’t matter anymore. My problem wasn’t the fact that I had to do Mom’s tax abatement and write and handle lesson planning, along with writing projects and singles ward activities, the problem was that I was running myself to the ground, never stopping, night after night. If I rest as I go, I’ll have enough energy to handle it all. If I rest, I can greet the next day with a cheerful heart and be prepared for whatever the next day might bring. Wow.
My life has grown. More activities, more responsibilities, more requirements. I way I handle all those things has to change, too. Day by day, work and rest, sorrow and joy—that’s the secret. Just like Elder Anderson said in his CES fireside talk. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. That’s the secret.

Kid Stuff

Okay, I’m writing this post now because I’ve got writer’s block with my novel. So here goes: A few months ago my grandpa gave me a bag full of papers. The papers that Grandma had kept for years-- report cards, pictures I drew at school, mother’s day poems . . . etc. I sat at the kitchen table with my sister Lori and started looking through them. I picked up the autobiography that I wrote in fifth grade.
I’ve forgotten how long the biography was supposed to be, or how many pages the other students wrote—but I had NINE. NINE pages full of details about my ten year old life.
I started reading it out loud to my sister, Lori. I couldn’t believe how good it was! After teaching seventh graders for two years, I’ve found that only a few students write consistently in complete sentences. Only a few connect their sentences in a way that helps them flow together. Only a few actually have a sense for what writing should sound like. And here I was, reading a fifth grade autobiography that would have sounded beautiful coming from a seventh grader! I was shocked. I wrote in complete sentences. I even used all of my apostrophes correctly. Every sentence had a period. Every word was spelled correctly. I even used specific details and started my sentences in different ways. Holy COW, I was a wonderful writer as early as fifth grade! I had no clue that I was that good. No wonder my ninth grade English teacher yelled at me for not signing up for the honors English class. Wow.
I thought writing was something I had developed more as a teenager and in college. But this old elementary assignment showed me that writing was a talent I’d had forever. It’s something that has always been with me.
I wonder if my writing talent was something I had in the preexistence. How much of my personality comes from my spiritual identity? I don’t think these kinds of things pop out of nowhere.