I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness lately, and where it comes from. Someone told me that all joy comes from knowing God. I recoiled at that statement, thinking, “No, happiness comes from ME.” I believe that the source of all good things is God, including joy. But joy is not something handed to us on a silver platter simply because we admit that God exists. My joy depends on me—my thoughts, my actions, and my attitude.
In the gospel, we are told that if we do certain things, we will have joy. Last month, I knew I’d been keeping all the commandments, but I was also miserable. I talked to a lot of people, trying to figure out what to do. When I talked with my neighbor, he asked me to list all the things I had to do every week. It was a lot, but he pointed out to me, “You never once mentioned your family responsibilities.” I was shocked and humbled. This started a period of serious reflection on my priorities in life. I realized that I was basing my self worth on how many tasks I was accomplishing every day—school, writing, grading papers, cleaning house, exercising…etc. As a result, I saw myself as flawed because I could never finish everything. Or at least, no matter how many tasks I piled on myself, I still wasn’t happy. When my neighbor said that comment about family, I remembered the thought I’d had the week before: “No matter how many tasks I accomplish, they’re all worthless if I’m not happy.” It changed to, “No matter what I accomplish in this life, it’s all worthless if I’m neglecting my family.”
I decided from then on that the thing I wanted most in the world was to be happy. To be happy for the right reasons. The ability to be happy no matter how dark the storm clouds overhead and no matter how many responsibilities piled on top of me.
As I reflected and studied, I learned that one of the key components to happiness was to have my priorities in the right order. Family is very important to me, but I wasn’t acting like it. After that talk with my neighbor, I decided to make sure that I called my family at least once a week. I also decided to not worry so much about how many tasks I was doing every day—to base my sense of worth on something else.
Those two changes made a HUGE difference. My life was still hectic, but I wasn’t stressed. I didn’t worry all the time, I didn’t give myself expectations that I couldn’t fulfill, and the pressure lifted. I was free from my misery.
For more information on happiness and priorities, please refer to Stephen Covey’s book Seven Habits of Highly Successful People.
An AWESOME statement! It really does make you happier when you have family. I am in school getting my degree, I have 4 children, and I have been going to the gym to relieve stress. Although I will exaughest myself (one day I may take a spelling class to have better spelling abilities!) I find I'm still stressed and my poor children end up with brunt end of my frustration. But when I call and talk to my sister (Camryn) she is so much fun to talk to that after I hang up it's like I've been refreshed! Talking to my mother, and my other sister helps sooo much also, each member of my family has a different perspective and gives me fresh insight which to be honest I could not have come up with on my own. So I understand when you feel unhappy but you think to yourself "but I have everything, why do I feel this way?". It's usually family that you are missing in your life.
ReplyDeletei agree with your resolution. once you have a clear idea about where u want things to go. This will help u seem that quality time spent with those you care for is better than how much stuff u have to do or how many tasks there are still to do.
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